As we go through our sermon series on Untwisting the Truth, the pastoral team wants to resource our parents for having conversations with your kids about sexuality. If you’re a parent, how comfortable are you talking with your kids about sex? God has created sex to bless us, and yet, we can often feel awkward and unsure about how to bring up a conversation about it with our children. However, if we avoid this topic, our children will certainly find answers elsewhere. Do we want to shape their understanding or our culture?
Here are a few suggestions about how to approach this topic.
First, talk in positive ways. Sex is a gift from God, and we should talk about it as such. Our children need to hear us talk about sex as beautiful, not simply all the ways that our culture has corrupted it. Sex is not something to be feared, but celebrated as a blessing from the Lord when expressed in Biblical ways.
Second, talk regularly. Talking to our children about sex (or really any important subject) should never be a one and done conversation. Children and teens are constantly processing and coming up with new questions as they try to make sense of the world. Ensure they know they are not alone but that you are here to guide them. Actively pursue the conversation and don’t wait for them to bring things up.
Third, talk openly. Let your kids know that no conversation is off limits, too hard, or embarrassing. The more comfortable you are talking openly, the more likely you are to allow your kids to feel comfortable and to listen to what you have to say about sex. Encourage them when they ask you questions. Ask them what they are hearing. Give them freedom to have opinions and voice them. Hearing from them will give you a window into their hearts and position you to know how better to pray for them and speak into their lives.
Fourth, talk soon. In our sex obsessed culture, our kids are being exposed to sexual matters at younger and younger ages. We must be the first ones to bring up the subject and open this conversation so that we can debunk the inaccurate views that they will be experiencing elsewhere. This doesn’t mean that we should drop everything on them at once. We need to share in developmentally appropriate ways. But from a young age, start using the proper names for parts of the body. Explain privacy and respect for others’ bodies. Try to be ahead of your kids and what they will be learning elsewhere. Give factually accurate information. Be honest and direct. Ask if they have questions.
As parents, our desire should be for our children to know how God intended life, relationships, and sexuality to be lived out. May they hear God’s voice through us.
Finally, Angie and I have found the resource below to be helpful in having the initial conversation about God’s creation of sex.